Sunday, August 31, 2014

On being naked, on the internet or otherwise

I hate having my picture taken. Hate it. Always have. Doesn't matter what the circumstances, doesn't matter if I've had my hair and makeup professionally done, if I'm wearing something that I know I look smoking hot in. I hate it. 

So no. I don't take naked pictures of myself. Even if I happen to be with someone that I am perfectly happy to walk around naked in front of otherwise. It's not the naked that bothers me, it's the photos.

But here's the thing. It shouldn't matter if every single picture on my phone or on my hard drive or in my cloud is of me being naked. Even being sensually or sexually naked. The only thing that having naked pictures means is that that person, in that set of circumstances, consented to being naked, and having their picture taken. Maybe they wanted to look hot for a lover. Maybe they wanted to look hot for themselves. Maybe they liked the way the light looked.

It doesn't fucking matter why they took the pictures. It doesn't make that person - and let's get real, and realize that when we are talking about stolen naked photos, shared with people without the person's consent that we are almost always talking about a woman - any less smart. Even if she stored them in the cloud. It doesn't make her a slut. It doesn't make her less talented. The only thing it makes her is a person who has had personal property stolen, and disseminated without her consent.

So it disgusts me, when stolen photos of a naked woman are passed around, and what we talk about isn't the asshole who stole them, who passed them around, and who did it to try to humiliate her, but rather the woman. Can her image survive this? Why didn't she have better computer security? Why was she naked in the first place?

Fuck that. She is not the one at fault. She has done nothing wrong. It's the people who are looking and judging and snickering behind their hands and talking about what she should have done to prevent this who are the problem.

Be naked if you want to. But don't be an asshole.